Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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