My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
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My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
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I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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