I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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