your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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