do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
