We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
so much tequila, so little girl.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
