they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
