I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
