"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
