we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
