meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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