I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
