She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
