I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
