he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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