If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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