i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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