Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
