my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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