i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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