My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
