Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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