I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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