My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize