just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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