FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
