We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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