Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
