my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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