PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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