Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize