I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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