that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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