Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
