last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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