I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
