I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
