I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
