i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
