She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
