dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
