I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
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