Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
