how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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