Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
