just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
