I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
3pm strippers are depressing
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
