Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
