This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
