So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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