I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize