what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
