Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
