Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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