i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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