Just took my morning after pill in the library
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
