yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
