Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
