Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i think i just lost a toe
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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