i would punch a child for taco bell
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize