I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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