Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
