So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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